I really, really need to do more drawing. So here’s my drawing for today. I’m a bit rubbish with pencil, but it does force me to consider values in the way that a line drawing does not. Tomorrow is another drawing.
My art teacher last week said ‘it doesn’t matter if you mess it up. You’re an artist. You can always make another one.’
That’s a comforting thought, isn’t it?
Textile art. Velvet, shiny stuff, and machine freehand embroidery
Freehand machine embroidery onto water-soluble fabric with sheep’s fleece, mohair and muslin (I think – the cream bandage-like fabric).
An interesting career psychometric test available on the BBC website. Are you in the right career?
Soft pastels.
Standing at the top of the concrete steps,
rain slipping across the hill
like silken sheets.
Familiar landmarks smudged
as if a chalky hand
had brushed across them.
Below the echo of water trickling
like a toilet cistern
with a leaking ballcock.
Breathing in the railway smell
of warm diesel and stale cigarette smoke.
Beside, on the wall, a landscape appears
through the peeling red paint hanging in layers.
This exercise was to use black and white paint only, and to focus on tonal values (the differences between light and shade). It is surprisingly difficult to identify tones. You can have two different colours (say red and blue) but they can be the same tone – so how do you differentiate them if you are just using shades of grey?
I saw this tree as we were walking up to the moors today, and was intrigued by the knobbly, almost spikey texture, and the fungi which are like folds of dark coloured flesh.
It was a relief to get up to the moors. I needed to find a bit of height, fresh air and perspective, and the moors give you that. There is a standing stone on the Calderdale Way where traditionally people leave coins in the top. I usually give it a hug instead. There is something very stable, grounding and timeless about stone. Which is what I needed after a whole day yesterday spent trying to set up a wireless router.
No writing done yesterday (apart from endless entering of technical stuff which definitely doesn’t count), so today I shall find out where I’ve put my ink cartridges, refill my pen and write.
I shouldn’t really be here this morning. I should be in an interview. Hear that word – should?
I realised after a chat with my own career coach that I need to beware of that word. It can very much get in your way. Let me explain. I am currently navigating a career change myself. I have a dream of a working life that enables me to use my talents to make the difference in the world that I want to make. In my case, I’ve decided to do this by coaching people who want to enjoy what they do for a living; and also by using my creative talents to make others think about and appreciate the world that they live in. To put it simply, I want to help others to create a life worth living. So – why did I apply for a job that would use three days of my precious time, doing something that didn’t fit with this vision? Because I thought I should, that’s why. Some part of me that still thinks I should have a ‘proper job’ compelled me to look at job advertisements and send off an application.
I should have listened to my own heart when I read the letter inviting me to an interview, and felt disappointed. But I didn’t listen. I still wasn’t listening when I felt no inclination to prepare. I wasn’t even nervous about it. Now that’s not right.
Then I spoke to my career coach. He asked me a simple but very important question.
“Imagine that you aren’t living in the real world – you’re in a different world entirely, one where you can do whatever you like. Describe what you are doing in five years time. Where are you? What are you doing?”
I described a very clear picture. I was surprised at how clear it was, even to me. Saying it out loud to another person brought it to life for me. And the job interview played no part whatsoever in that vision.
“So – tell me again why you’re going for that job?”
That’s what career coaches do. They ask the difficult, the obvious, questions.
We explored together why I had felt that I ‘should’ get a proper job. I realised that there is actually no reason on earth why I should. I can meet my responsibilities without doing so. It wasn’t really a ‘should’ at all.
I realised that I need to take my vision seriously and focus as much effort on planning how I can achieve it as I have been doing on being a slave to the unacknowledged ‘shoulds’ in my life.
I know we all have responsibilities that we do need to meet. I think we also have some unexplored ‘shoulds’ that are no longer relevant in our current circumstances. What are yours? What do you think they might be stopping you from achieving?
Phew. I’ve finally completed the third section of my career website. If you’re dying to know how to improve your work-life balance, read all about it!
Talking of which – I’ve done no creative writing today! Unless writing a website counts?